SOME THOUGHTS ON LUCK

A 5-Paragraph Essay on astrology, my not-so-luckiest-week, and of course: ATTITUDE

Bonjour, besties!!!

Today I’m reflecting on the concept of luck. See my 2024 thoughts on the matter HERE. Thanks for being here. You rock.

XO - your faithful flâneur - BOGS

oh and happy WORLD CUP!!!

Let’s Get Into It

I’m surrounded by astrologers - no dinner goes by without someone pulling up TimePassages - followed by lots of oohs and ahhs and oh my god that makes so much SENSE!!! - as we try to contextualize the calamity of the human experience (or more often: why we don’t have boyfriends yet).

Because of this incredible network of witch/astrologers, I woke up to a three-paragraph text (alert?) from Holly on Monday, informing me that this was the luckiest week of the year.

For the most part, I love astrology. I’m a Leo Sun in the 10th, Aquarius Moon in the 4th, and Scorpio Rising in the 1st. Without getting into the details - and these are just my big three - I have a great chart (well, maybe except for my Libra Venus in the 12th. Ooof).

Over the years, it’s proved enormously helpful as a tool for self-reflection - just like Human Design (Manifesting Generator, Emotional Authority, 4/6), Enneagrams (4-Wing-3), and other personality tests. As my wise friend Sam likes to remind me, astrology is a mirror, not a map. I don’t use it to predict the future (try as I might have in my twenties), but as a way to relate to the experiences and themes of my life.

Sometimes, however, that mirror plays tricks on me, and I find myself sitting cross-legged in front of it like Harry Potter in that dusty Hogwarts attic staring at his parents. The Mirror of the Erised - which Dumbledor wisely removed from the premises - reflected back to the querent a mirage of their deepest desires. My deepest desires? LOVE, as I’ve talked about with painstaking honesty - and lately, visibility. Not virality, not fame - but … growth! I want eyes on me! I want to reach a big audience! According to my chart, all signs point to those desires being very much a part of my life’s plan, which can make the absence of them feel even more excruciating and confusing.

And this week was decidedly not my luckiest.

I’ll spare you the ups and downs, but I’ll share one example: on Thursday, I was rejected from a sponsored collaboration opportunity with a dream sofa brand because my audience just isn’t big enough. I quickly archived the email and thought, “luckiest week of the year, my ass!”

By today (Friday), I woke up with my head hung low, without a single “lucky” thing to show for myself. This attitude isn’t like me, so I forced myself to zoom out and examine this concept more fully. Because - if I didn’t go into the week trying to squeeze every drop out of the luckiest week of the year - I’d be ending it with a totally different perspective.

I got to see my friends every single night. I got to experience the vicissitudes of being a bandwagon Knicks fan. I savored my favorite Thai food in the city with two of my absolute soul sisters while we discussed the ups and downs of life. I saw some stunning apartments and thanked God I got my real estate license last year. There was a lot of luck in the week - it just wasn’t, like, romcom luck.

So here I am. Just a girl, standing sitting in front of a boy, a yellow Mac, asking him to love her, trying to figure out the true meaning of luck.

(1) Let’s start here: WHAT IS LUCK?

Here’s my definition (no AI): an unexpected stroke of good fortune.

Cousins with: whimsy, kismet, magic, and - at times - a good old-fashioned force majeure.

The internet more or less confirms this - you can do your own research. While deep in my own rabbit hole, I googled something else: Who is the luckiest person in the world?

Apparently, it’s this dude:

I knew within the .005 seconds it took Google to generate that answer that it was going to piss me off.

I’m sorry, what??? This man had to survive seven deadly accidents - and then win the lottery (13 years before he died) to be considered the luckiest man in the world? I mean, winning the lottery is cool and lucky, I GUESS, but it seems like more of an apology from the universe by way of karmic interest payment than good luck.

This man technically experienced more bad luck than good - but, because we live in a capitalist society, his late-in-life lottery windfall is the qualifier that deems him “lucky”. It leaves so much out of the picture, though. Was he happy? Was he in love? Was he fulfilled? Those are the indicators of luck to me.

I consider luck as more of a theme than a singular event. Sure, I can point to many lucky moments in my life: meeting Solange, sharing truffle pasta at Corner Bar with Florrie - a stranger who had the exact wisdom I needed in the moment, getting my job at Google back in 2018, finding my dream apartment, getting pulled up to the front row at the James Blake concert with Emily - I could go on and on and on. In many ways, I feel charmed.

(2) But if luck is a theme, it raises the question: Is luck also a mindset?

You knowwww I love to talk about mindset.

My answer: Yes and no.

One of my earliest memories is from when I was four years old. My mom must have been working that day, so she shipped my brother and me off to a nearby cousin’s house for a playdate. I woke up with my chin tickling a bit, which I dutifully reported as we were being shuffled into the car. “That means you’re going to have good luck today,” she said - probably to shut me up, buckling me into my carseat as I stared out in wonder.

By the end of the day, I had a pile of bona fide proof in front of me: a beaded bracelet from my cousin Jenna, a handful of scratch-and-sniff stickers, tales of special treatment or gratuitous popsicles, and whatever else felt lucky to a four-year-old in 1998.

I do fundamentally believe that thoughts become things and what you focus on grows, blah blah blah. The power of assumption is real. Lucky Girl Syndrome wouldn’t have stuck around for so long if it weren’t. At the end of the day, if you move around the world with a belief that you’re lucky, you’re going to tally up more lucky moments than an Eore-type. You just are.

HOWEVER! Waking up one day and “deciding” to be lucky does not guarantee immediate results. Sure, you might get a free coffee - be sure to thank the universe when that happens! Pay attention to the small things! The world does have a way of encouraging new beliefs with small glimmers like that as we set out to establish new beliefs. But beware of the expectation for instant gratification. That is a recipe for resentment and strife.

Luck isn’t something you can control, and in my opinion, it’s not always immediately obvious. Life lovessss to do a little nonlinear storytelling.

The “luck” might show up years after some random party you didn’t want to be at, when that girl remembers that you did that one thing that one time, and she shoots you a DM and offers you a job. Or whatever. You get me?

(3) Can you cultivate luck? Are some people luckier than others?

Cultivate yes, force NO.

It’s my belief that what goes around comes around. The luckiest people I know are also the most generous, outwardly kind, and - wildcard - funniest people I know. I say “funny” because I also think life rewards those who can laugh through the human experience. I mean, what we come here to experience is fucking absurd - we can’t take it so seriously all the time. But maybe that’s just the Chicago Irish-Catholic coping mechanism in me speaking. I’ve never laughed harder than at my Grandpa’s funeral with my 16 first-cousins.

One more note on humor, though: earlier this year, my friend Chelsea taught a Yoga Therapy Class and shared that laughter clears the heart meridian. As a warm-up, she’d often have us dance until we were laughing - and I think there’s a lot of power in that.

So yes, I think you can cultivate luck by doing your best and treating others the way you want to be treated.

I just think it gets dangerous when you start doing good deeds with the expectation of a karmic return. That’s a fast-track to a tough lesson - take it from me ;)

Also, I think so much of luck is rooted in unseen forces that we could never control or understand. That’s what makes it part of the fun!!!

In Conclusion

At the end of the day, you’re reading the words of a girl who has never found a four-leaf clover, despite her very best efforts to search any chance she gets. I don’t know that it’s really for any of us to say if we’re lucky or not.

Luck - like faith - is a slippery fish (2023 throwback!), and I think it’s probably in our best interest to approach it with curiosity and a sense of humor.

I believe in luck, but more than anything, I believe in the power of showing up well in the world, trying our best, being kind to ourselves and others, and appreciating the good times when they come.

XOXO BOGS

POST SCRIPT: While writing this essay, a few impactful books popped into my mind: There Are No Accidents, Outrageous Openness, and The Alchemist. I highly recommend them all.

Shoutout all of the amazing astrologers in my life: Holly, Maxine, Daniela, Seth, Alice, Chelsea, and Sam (whether she identifies as one or not).

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